BLACK COCKTALE

                                                     LOVE STONED!!! 

 I hope you’re feeling good wherever you are without me, because I am not feeling great here without you. I don’t understand why I still feel this way because the way you left sent me almost dead. Yesterday, I again looked out through the window and could remember how you walk through the fields to meet me. I could remember how much I wanted to meet you that afternoon I saw you tendering to the flowers at your father’s garden. 

Why it all turned out this way I still cannot understand. You made my world shine like the stars. I always believed love was like the rose in the sun; beautiful. Or like the moon in the sky, tranquil. Or like fishes in water; tender. Or like the Gouldian finches; colourful. I used to think it was all true and caring, all sweet and sweet. But you showed me the other side of love. You left me with the sour taste of betrayal and brandish at me how wicked love could be. 

You turned to me the other side of love. You taught me how painful love could be. I know not whether to still believe that it was you standing at the park with Sam my close friend, with your arms around him as both of you kissed passionately where we used to sit and watch the sunset. NO! I can’t still decipher the look on your face whether it revealed innocence or contempt or both.

 I could hear the rhythm of the flowing breezes pause with the beat of my heart as I took the shock. I could still feel the bouquet of flowers that sat in my hands and how they lay there confused too. I could not stop the tears that ran across my eyes and the fear that lorded my heart. I just wanted to walk away and get lost! I just wanted to get swallowed in the earth with every memories of our love fade into thin air.

 I knew not what I did to make me deserve this from you. I felt I could trust you; I felt I could love you. I had always run away from love. But I could remember that afternoon I saw you at the garden. I could remember how you smiled at me when I waved; that smiled that shone brighter than the sunshine. I could still see how your silky hair flowed with the wind revealing more of your amazing beauty that got me stuck to where I stood; that got me wondering if I was in heaven. I needed no diviner to tell me I was in love. But when I tried to talk to you, I stuttered and messed myself up.

 I remember you laughing at me but it only made me love you more. I could not wait to count the stars with you when you finally agreed to my request. If my heart could fly, I would have been out in the space, revelling at the sweetness of your love. I was a novice in love but it was the best way to begin; the perfect way. Here I am today still trying to accept that you already left. I know not whether to curse myself for ever meeting Sam or for ever loving you. But now have I begun to accept that unblemished love happens only in fairy tales; that I ask myself “Would I ever love again”. Goodbye, Sheila. 

I know not why you chose to betray me. I know not where why you chose to leave me in tears. I still don’t know why it turned out this way but I know each night that I go to sleep; I still feel the space that you left in my heart. And now, I am afraid to love anyone again. Just last month, I saw another girl at the garden and we had become close friends but when she told me she loved me, I could only cry.

 PROFESSOR X   By KOLADEPROFESSORXHABEEB http://strictlyui.com/profile/KOLADEPROFESSORXHABEEB