BLACK COCKTALE

 During a recent interview, Iyanya had to apologise on air for the outfits his dancers wore on stage. They apparently had ‘tights’ on without underpants much to the disgust of a deputy governor who was in attendance. The stunts their backsides pulled were probably too ‘jasi’ for her excellency’s ‘conservative’ sight organs(I doubt if ‘his’ excellency would have had a problem with that’). She was alleged to be so infuriated she informed the organisers to get them off stage. Honestly, it doesn’t bother me. It is what we have reinforced. I’ve seen much worse. However, what struck me in that interview was his confession; he said “It is not that I like showing off my body (under the influence of my truth pill, he’s got a great chest and packs that are really six, maybe more). I would have received a credit alert before I did that. My account ‘blue’ens (my coinage) everytime that I do that.” There is a deliberate attempt to sell sex. Afterall, the longest quoted mantra in the media sphere is Sex Sells. When you sell it, you sell. I seem to agree.

My 12-year old sister has been fed visually with more ‘soft porn’ than I was during my transition to adulthood, 18 years the least. Thanks to our musical acts, arousal has become associated with their videos more like the Pavlovian dog and a ringing bell. If our eyes do not behold the presence of almost nude gravity defying bossoms, the enormity of their ‘behinds’ splattered across the screens of our deflowered television sets are enough to send us over the fence. But you know, what can we do? Actually, the question is what have we done?

My response to a radio interview in December, 2011 where I was asked what the biggest challenge the youth population would face in 2012, was simple. Homosexuality. I was wrong. Maybe partially. I envisage another and this time, it is about the elevation of the music industry’s sexual theme. I am almost certain I am right.

This leads me right to the third – The twist the sexual message is taking. The focus on ‘lollipop’ and ‘head’. Could this be where we are ‘head’ing? I think it is.

Let me get you back to my friend.He had just listened to Eva Alordiah’s ‘Lights Out’. Great hook. Perfect flow. Superb delivery. That kind of beat that you listen to and groove slowly. It’s like been on your ‘baba alaiye’ grind. Well, the lyrical genius was almost impeccable. Up until he decided to listen. Not hear. Listen. That changed it.

…I like it when you tell me baby put it on me

Take a seat

Take a seat and put the *kitten* on me

He says I’m big Mr Juicy

Reporting for duty

I’ve got you cracking up

And banging on that pu**y

…And kiss me on the lips baby really slow

Do it on the ones below…

So I let you give me head…

Like the way you give me head…

Baby, give me head…

Love your pretty boy smile

Can I sit upon it?…

 Eva toyed with his imagination. No holds barred. No subtleness. As a matter of fact, she owned it for that period. And beyond. I still think he’d be looking for an opportunity to make any girl feel what Eva sold to him. And still does as he is stuck with ‘Lighting out’ any chance he’s got with his music player.

These lyrics indicate an emerging trend. Our apostles of ‘cunninlingus’ and ‘fellatio’ didn’t start now. It had always been in phases. Much like metamorphosis from egg to adult, it started from being subtle. The egg phase with mentions in between lines.

Reminisce’s ‘je ki n la la’(translated let me lick it) in his single ’2mussh’ gives a clue. So much so that concentration will be the only ‘officer’ capable of finding and arresting it. Wizkid’s smash hit ‘Caro’ referenced it as ‘Caro dey do everything she dey use her MOUTH she dey do am like LOLLIPOP’. This lucid testimony of Caro’s sexual prowess wasn’t enough, her mouth had to be dragged into it.

Afterall, we are known to pay attention to beats and not lyrics. Really, who’s kidding who? When acts perform on stage, do fans hum the beats or ‘spit’ the lyrics? The lyrics do not necessarily make sense but the message is received. To my surprise, too well received.

Making oral sex the vivid focal point of a hit single requested by thousands via radio and other forms of media seems over the wire. An audacious move that can alter the industry’s dynamics. Especially in the realm of what it teaches. From frying pan to fire is exactly what will be dealt to the core of our moral fibre. An increasingly weakened one.

Parents who are almost giving up on the battle for the  purity of the ‘sights and sounds’ of their puerile wards are faced with a fresh challenge. The Challenge of ‘Orality’. A note of ‘Hey, I am here to stay. Join me, or get the f*** out’ is certainly what this daring endeavor undertaken by Ms. Alordiah portends. Cooking up slangs is doing its bit. The so-called ‘club beats’ keep trending. From the study of the evolution of this industry, I foresee that the definite success of this ‘oralistic’ Eva joint, coupled with recent mentions from massive acts like Wizkid, will prove to be a stimulus for the desperate wanna-be who wants to hit big, and that popular act who wants to be remain in vogue, to join the Oral bandwagon. Afterall, they dish what we order. And make us want more.

I fear for the future. The future of ‘noise’.

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